HEY AGAIN!
Or if not again, welcome to The Attitude Of Adventure Blog!
I'm Morgan Deane and my mission with this blog is to give great, applicable advice and funny stories, so that you get a laugh, leave with something helpful, and keep coming back!
I'm a Christ follower, I'm married to the LOVE of my life, we're parents to Winston BARKtholomew Deane the Goldendoodle, and I love drinking homemade smoothies every morning!
{Want to know More About Me? Check it out!}
And now, for the reason you came here today!
I'm Morgan Deane and my mission with this blog is to give great, applicable advice and funny stories, so that you get a laugh, leave with something helpful, and keep coming back!
I'm a Christ follower, I'm married to the LOVE of my life, we're parents to Winston BARKtholomew Deane the Goldendoodle, and I love drinking homemade smoothies every morning!
{Want to know More About Me? Check it out!}
And now, for the reason you came here today!
Y'all. Asking for help is so hard for me. I am the type of person who doesn't want to put someone in a awkward situation or make someone go out of their way. I never want to be an inconvenience. I have this independence and pride that makes me think I can do it all by myself. My perfectionism leads me to do everything myself instead of delegating because I'm afraid they won't do it "right."
But gosh, when I do ask for help, I'm so surprised by how willing and happy others are to oblige. Maybe it's because I live in the south-east and everyone in Georgia is big on hospitality, but I'd like to think it's because helping others fills us. We get by giving to others.
So below are 10 Reasons Why You Need To Stop Being Afraid To Ask For Help.
But gosh, when I do ask for help, I'm so surprised by how willing and happy others are to oblige. Maybe it's because I live in the south-east and everyone in Georgia is big on hospitality, but I'd like to think it's because helping others fills us. We get by giving to others.
So below are 10 Reasons Why You Need To Stop Being Afraid To Ask For Help.
ASK FOR HELP BECAUSE...
Below are 10 reasons why you should ask for help. They've helped me to accept help that is offered and ask when it's not.
People Want To Help
Really. They're more than willing to lend a hand. Let him get that door for you when your hands are full. Let her take half of that stack of books and lighten your load. Let them bring you dinner after you've had surgery. You don't have to do it alone. I'm always afraid of inconveniencing people. And honestly, it might be an inconvenience, but they're willing. Especially if they offer. Accept. The. Help.
You Just Cannot Do Everything By Yourself
Ugh. This one hurts because I like to think that I'm super woman and I can juggle all of the things. By myself. And make them all perfect. Yeah, no. I just can't. You just can't. Letting someone else take on something is so helpful and it frees you up to do that things that no one else can do. Delegation is something that I've been working on because it really is a strength. All the best leaders know how to trust those they work with and delegate what they can.
You Don't Know It All
Shocker. Sometimes I start a project with the knowledge that I have and it's going pretty well, but then someone comes along and has more knowledge and experience. It's so important to get other perspectives and learn from those who have done the same thing in the past. There's really nothing that you're doing that someone in the world hasn't done before. Whether you're asking a friend, bouncing ideas of your co-workers, or searching the web, asking for help can expand your knowledge and make the project better than you could on your own.
Teamwork Is An Important Skill
There are times in your life where you will have to work in a team environment. You'll have to sit next to someone or a group on someones and work toward a goal together. It could be you and a friend carrying a new couch into your apartment. Or working with a team of co-workers to create a budget for the next year. Whatever the team activity, you'll need to have the skills to work with someone else.
No One Thinks Less Of You Because You Had Help
This is so hard for me to remember. I get so caught up in thinking about what other people think about me, when most likely they're not even thinking about me. I need a book about this. Seriously, if you have a suggestion, leave a comment at the bottom! But really, no one is thinking that you need to do it all. No one believes you're SuperWoman. You're allowed to ask for help and get it.
There's A Better Yes
I talk about this below, but you need to prioritize your yes's. You have a limited amount of time and you can't say yes to everything. Whatever yes you're giving is a no to something else. Sometimes asking for help is because you just don't have the time to do it all by yourself. Twice a year, I have to take an inventory of the whole bookstore where I work. It's a huge undertaking and if I tried to do it by myself, I'd be there for days and my husband would wonder if I was ever going to come home. Then once I did, I would be so tired, I wouldn't be able to bring the best version of me to our marriage. Every time it gets close to the time where I need to take inventory, I send a quick message to my team and ask if anyone could spare a few hours. Most of them aren't in the store on a regular basis, but when they pitch in to help, we get it done in only a few hours. It's much less stressful for me and Andy appreciates me being home at a reasonable time. So say yes to help because then you can say yes to being home with the family.
Serving Others Is A Blessing
I always get so much more out of giving than I get out of getting. That sounds backwards, but it's true. Serving others feeds our souls. We feel so much better about ourselves and gain understanding that we didn't have. So if that's true, why would you say no to someone serving you? You'll both be blessed through the act. Don't get carried away and take advantage, but accept the help that's offered and if it's not being offered, don't be afraid to ask.
Even You Can't Get It "Perfect"
Like I said, perfectionism drives me to try to do everything by myself. I would rather do it all and do it "right" than have help. One time I had to roll a bunch of T-shirts - I'm talking hundreds of T-shirts. I was so consumed with the need for them to be perfect that I didn't ask for help until half way through. When I did, I showed those who were helping how I was rolling them and we got it done so much faster. They were not perfectionists and their T-shirts weren't rolled as neatly as mine, but do you know what? It didn't matter. The next Sunday when the T-shirts were handed out, no one cared if theirs was rolled perfectly or not. They just cared that they were getting the right size. So ask for help because it doesn't have to be your version of perfect.
Accepting Help Takes Humility
Being humble is a great skill. Humility is the opposite of pride and no one likes a prideful person. Everyone loves being around a humble person though. They admit their faults and mistakes, they're not haughty, they don't make excuses, and they're generally honest, good people. Part of swallowing your pride comes with accepting help from others. They may know better or have the time. But they have something that you don't and you need their help.
Yours And Others' Lives Will Be Easier
One of the most frustrating things can be working with or for someone who can't delegate. They can't let go and let someone else handle it. They hold onto everything and make it hard for others to work with them because they want to make all of the decisions. We have to let go of our "power" and give others freedom to help us. It'll make your life easier and theirs because they won't be fighting with you to do things they're fully capable of. They may do it differently, but you have to let go of that and trust.
SOME READS THAT HELPED ME
Y'all. These books and studies changed my life! If you haven't read one or more of them, stop right now, head over to Amazon and buy them. This isn't an affiliate link. I just really, really love and believe in the hearts of the women who wrote these. Plus they contain life-changing content.
The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst
Book or Study
I personally read the book or rather listened to the audiobook, but the study guide and DVD are great for a group setting.
Lysa talks about when you say yes to one thing, you're saying no to another. She challenges you to evaluate what you're struggling to say no to and look at what you're actually saying no to when you say yes to that one thing. If you say yes to helping out at your kid's school, you're saying no to grocery shopping and may have to do it with your kids. When you say yes to hanging out with friends, you're saying no to spending time with your family. When you say yes to house sitting for that friend who lives 20 minutes further from your work, you're saying no to sleeping later. Every time you say yes, you're saying no to something else. So what is The Best Yes? What is your Best Yes?
Breathing Room by Sandra Stanley
Devotional
Sandra's husband, Pastor Andy Stanley, spoke a series called Breathing Room in January of 2013. He had 2 closets set up on stage, one being extremely messy and stuffed to the brim, the other very neat, organized, and everything had a place, but there was less in it. He talked about how our lives can so easily look like the messy closet. We try to cram everything in and it is disorganized and disastrous. We need to create Breathing Room in our lives. Stop saying yes to everything and take time for what's important.
A few years later in December of 2017, Sandra released her devotional geared specifically toward women on the same topic. This powerful 28-day devotion has 4 videos that go with it. You can watch them for free when you download the free Breathing Room app on your tablet or smart phone. I highly recommend this study.
Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist
Book or Study
Again, this is one where I read the book, but the study and DVD are great for a group setting.
Shauna presses into an issue that a lot of women have - the feeling of needing to be perfect. Perfectionism has been a big struggle of mine and reading this book really helped me to let go of the need and to live more in the moment, to be present. She talks about how we try to be the best, but for what? Who is caring right now about how good it is? What you had 2 hours ago was a little less than what you have now, but no one would know the difference except you. Was it really worth the time? Perfectionism keeps you running, working, harder, stronger, faster. When you strive for perfect, you'll always fall short. There's always something you can do that will make it "better". You need to accept who you are and what you can do and leave it there. Trust me, you're going to have a lot more peace and you'll be able to live in the moment instead of thinking of what you can or could have done better. You'll be able to be Present Over Perfect.
Book or Study
I personally read the book or rather listened to the audiobook, but the study guide and DVD are great for a group setting.
Lysa talks about when you say yes to one thing, you're saying no to another. She challenges you to evaluate what you're struggling to say no to and look at what you're actually saying no to when you say yes to that one thing. If you say yes to helping out at your kid's school, you're saying no to grocery shopping and may have to do it with your kids. When you say yes to hanging out with friends, you're saying no to spending time with your family. When you say yes to house sitting for that friend who lives 20 minutes further from your work, you're saying no to sleeping later. Every time you say yes, you're saying no to something else. So what is The Best Yes? What is your Best Yes?
Devotional
Sandra's husband, Pastor Andy Stanley, spoke a series called Breathing Room in January of 2013. He had 2 closets set up on stage, one being extremely messy and stuffed to the brim, the other very neat, organized, and everything had a place, but there was less in it. He talked about how our lives can so easily look like the messy closet. We try to cram everything in and it is disorganized and disastrous. We need to create Breathing Room in our lives. Stop saying yes to everything and take time for what's important.
A few years later in December of 2017, Sandra released her devotional geared specifically toward women on the same topic. This powerful 28-day devotion has 4 videos that go with it. You can watch them for free when you download the free Breathing Room app on your tablet or smart phone. I highly recommend this study.
Book or Study
Again, this is one where I read the book, but the study and DVD are great for a group setting.
Shauna presses into an issue that a lot of women have - the feeling of needing to be perfect. Perfectionism has been a big struggle of mine and reading this book really helped me to let go of the need and to live more in the moment, to be present. She talks about how we try to be the best, but for what? Who is caring right now about how good it is? What you had 2 hours ago was a little less than what you have now, but no one would know the difference except you. Was it really worth the time? Perfectionism keeps you running, working, harder, stronger, faster. When you strive for perfect, you'll always fall short. There's always something you can do that will make it "better". You need to accept who you are and what you can do and leave it there. Trust me, you're going to have a lot more peace and you'll be able to live in the moment instead of thinking of what you can or could have done better. You'll be able to be Present Over Perfect.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
I hope you enjoyed today's topic!
If you want to see more by me, check out my full list of blog posts.
Comment below or shoot me an email at AttitudeOfAdventure@gmail.com
Follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, & Facebook @AttitudeOfAdventure
If you want to see more by me, check out my full list of blog posts.
Comment below or shoot me an email at AttitudeOfAdventure@gmail.com
Follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, & Facebook @AttitudeOfAdventure
