5 Simple Things That Make Me Happier

Friday, February 15, 2019

HEY AGAIN!

Or if not again, welcome to The Attitude Of Adventure Blog!
I'm Morgan Deane and my mission with this blog is to give great, applicable advice and funny stories, so that you get a laughleave with something helpful, and keep coming back!
I'm a Christ follower, I'm married to the LOVE of my life, we're parents to Winston BARKtholomew Deane the Goldendoodle, and I love drinking homemade smoothies every morning!
{Want to know More About Me? Check it out!}

And now, for the reason you came here today!
I've been listening to a lot of podcasts and reading a lot of books on self help and being a happier, healthier version of you. Something most of them have in common is surrounding yourself with things that make you happy. It seems like a simple idea, but if we're not intentional about it, we go through the motions every day and lose the little things we love.

WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY?

When I asked myself this question, I thought, "Wow, I know exactly what makes my husband happy." He likes candles, mood lighting, and romantic music; simple foods, hot showers and sleeping in. Those things allow him to thrive! If he doesn't get enough sleep, he's grumpy and short going into the day. If the burger he orders is on a fancy bun and has more toppings than meat, he might politely try it, but he's happiest with a ketchuped hamburger on a white bun.

But what makes me happy? What are the little things that every time I experience them, I'm more relaxed than I was the moment before? What things stress me out? I started paying attention to my actions and reactions with people and things. What I discovered changed the way I interacted with those things. I didn't take those that made me happier for granted anymore and stopped interacting with those things that gave me stress.
Below I broke my things out into the 5 senses: sight, taste, touch, hear, and smell. Of course we have more than 5 things that make us happy, but if I can focus on the ones that make me the happiest, I'm on my way to being a happier person. It's better to focus on the few, than get overwhelmed with the many.

SIGHT

I love a clean house.
If you know me, you know I love being organized and I'm also a bit of a perfectionist (I'm workin on it.) I try to keep my house in order all of the time. At any moment, I want it to be ready for someone to walk in. Does this happen? Not always, but that's the thing I dream of. When I wake up to a dirty house, it ruins the rest of my day. I start by trying to clean what I can, then I'm stressed about it at work. When I get home from a long day, the last thing I want to do is clean up the mess leftover from yesterday.
Action
I started going to bed with a clean house. I run the dishwasher every night or at least have all the dirty dishes off of the counter and out of the sink. I hand-wash what needs to be washed and put away what I can. Then I make sure that if I haven't folded all of the laundry, that it's in a basket and not all over the floor. I pick up all of Winston's toys that he strewn around the house during the day. These simple actions set me up to sleep well and start tomorrow with a great attitude.

TASTE

I love pizza.
Yo, if you have an allergy that doesn't allow you to eat pizza, I can't even tell you how sorry I am. I love pizza with a passion. If the world ran out of pizza, I think I would just wither away and die. I have, on multiple occasion, cried for the lack of pizza that night. I even cried thinking about the possibility that I might not like pizza one day. (Hey, sometimes I get emotional and irrational, okay.)
Action
I started eating more pizza and not feeling guilty about it. This is a food that brings me more joy than eating something healthier would. I'm overall a pretty healthy eater. I don't stick to a specific diet, but I don't drink sodas more than 5 times a year, but rather drink lots of water and when I want something else, I might get orange juice or lemonade from the store. I don't keep sugary snacks in the house, but rather, I have lots of fruits, vegetables, hummus, and Lara bar type snacks around. We also don't eat a lot of fried food and because of the lack, when we do, we don't feel super great. We eat pretty healthily and though pizza isn't always the healthiest option, I will eat it until the world ends.

TOUCH

I love fresh sheets.
This is something that surprised me when I looked at my happy triggers. Every time I clean the sheets and make the bed, I am so thrilled to climb in that night. But I really detest taking them off the bed, washing them, and putting them back on. The bed spread isn't a big deal because it's on top of the bed, but with the sheets, you have to take everything else off as well.
Action
Once I realized how much joy clean sheets give me, I stopped looking at washing them as such a chore. It actually excites me when I take the sheets off the bed because I know that when they come out of that dryer and climb in, it'll be so worth it!

HEAR

I love pump-me-up music.
Over the years I've had many playlists by different titles: Favorites, I Feel Like Dancing, and Happy to name a few. With the years, the songs, artists, and even genres change with the titles, but the theme remains the same: songs that make me feel powerful and happy and in love with life.
Action
The name of my most recent playlist is Empowered. I added songs that make me want to get up and jump around the house. They get me going, they're the songs I take on my runs, the ones I use when I'm sad. These songs take me out of my negative space and turn me into a determined, ready-to-get-stuff-done human. Each person will have different music that pumps them up and it may change with different seasons of life, but I think that everyone should have a pump-me-up playlist.

SMELL

I love smelling candles.
But I hate flames. Flames stress me out because my family never had candles burning in our house and when, on rare occasion, we did, dad was always so scared that someone would knock one over and cause a fire. Even now when I don't live in a house with kids, I'm nervous to light a candle. What if I gesture too vibrantly when I'm talking with my hands and knock it over? What if the dog jumps on the counter and knocks it over? What if I forget to blow it out before I leave and the house somehow catches fire? It makes me so nervous.
Action
At my surprise bridal shower a woman I didn't know very well at the time, gave me a Scenterpiece. I was skeptical at first, but after using this electric wax warmer, I fell in love. The scent of the candle, which is the part about candles that I like, could aromatize the house without fear of fire. I have since gotten a smaller one that plugs into the wall so I can have one upstairs and one downstairs. They're the best!

FIND YOUR 5 THINGS

So what are your 5 things? What little things make you happy, but won't cost you a lot of time or money. What can you easily fit into your busy schedule, but will make a big difference in your overall happiness? Let me know in the comments!

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I hope you enjoyed today's topic!
If you want to see more by me, check out my full list of blog posts.

Comment below or shoot me an email at AttitudeOfAdventure@gmail.com
Follow me on InstagramPinterest, & Facebook @AttitudeOfAdventure

I'd Love To Hear From You!

~M

17 More Things We Learned From Planning Our Wedding

Friday, February 8, 2019

HEY AGAIN!

Or if not again, welcome to The Attitude Of Adventure Blog!
I'm Morgan Deane and my mission with this blog is to give great, applicable advice and funny stories, so that you get a laughleave with something helpful, and keep coming back!
I'm a Christ follower, I'm married to the LOVE of my life, we're parents to Winston BARKtholomew Deane the Goldendoodle, and I love drinking homemade smoothies every morning!
{Want to know More About Me? Check it out!}

And now, for the reason you came here today!
Last week I talked about 25 Things We Learned From Planning Our Wedding. They were all things that we did right! This week, I bring you 17 that we should have done differently.
I love being a wife! Married life is the freakin best! But getting from dating to married was not the most fun. The engagement season quickly went from ecstatic to dramatic. Andy and I both look back and are so glad it's over. But why is it so stressful? As I started thinking about it, I realized there are some things I would tell myself if I could go back in time.

THINGS WE SHOULD HAVE DONE

Dated More
Oh goodness, yes! The only reason I would have wanted to spend more time in the engagement
season is because we pretty much stopped going on dates. Anytime we were together, we talked about the wedding. Have you booked the photographer? Did you talk with the DJ? When are we going to the cake tasting? Anytime we weren't talking about the wedding, we were so exhausted that we'd just plop down and watch some Netflix. We stopped connecting on a relational level and we stopped going on fun dates.
Spent More Time Planning The Day Of Schedule
Honestly, there's not a ton more that I could have done, but we only had the venue for a total of 5 hours. 2 for set-up, photography, getting dressed + makeup, and being ready to walk down the aisle, then 3 hours for the ceremony and reception. It was very chaotic, but we made it! I had written down where everything would go and everything that I had brought, but I didn't organize it well in the boxes and baskets. People were running around trying to get stuff in place that they couldn't even find. Another thing that happened was I didn't say where to put the toss bouquet and we held up the toss when we couldn't find it. Awkward. I wish that I had prepared that piece better.
Created A Do-Not-Playlist
The DJ was something that Andy had taken on and I tried to stay uninvolved because I trusted him,
but even if I had gotten involved, I think our DJ still would have went off the rails. He was good at engaging the crowd, but he didn't play hardly any of the songs we gave him (which was like 5 hours worth--way more than he needed.) He played a lot of his own music, which I tried not to let bother me, but when you go in with expectations, it's hard to let them go. I wish that we had created a Do-Not-Playlist for him so that we could make sure to avoid songs we didn't like or want.
Videographer
This is one that we're not actually sad we didn't have, but a lot of people regret not getting a videographer. Much like in last week's post, I would definitely suggest getting a professional artist with experience and a portfolio. This will be worth the money you'll spend.
Spent Money To Preserve Bouquet
This was something that I went back and forth on and ultimately decided against. Honestly, I'm not sure that it would have worked with the bouquet I had since it was falling apart by the end of the night. But I would love to have it in a shadow box frame, preserved forever. It really was a beautiful bouquet!
Spent More Time Writing Down Photos I Wanted
Looking back, I wish that I had gotten photos with more people and more pictures of our decor. I wish that I had pictures with Andy and his sister, as well as Andy, his parents and sister. I also wish I had individual photos with each of my siblings. I don't have any evidence that we had the photo booth which is disappointing considering the amount of time it took to prepare. The day goes by so fast. Make sure you have all the photos you want taken written down and given to your photographer ahead of time.
Pinned Up The Bustle Before Entering The Reception
We took tons of photos after the ceremony and our day-of
coordinator was stressing that we were taking longer than the schedule called for. I wasn't worried about it, but as soon as we were done, we were rushed inside to be announced as Mr. & Mrs. Andy Deane. In the chaos, I forgot about the bustle until we were about to walk in to the dance floor. We made it through the first dance just fine, but there was very little turning so that Andy wouldn't step on the back of the dress.
Brought Less Personal Decor
The venue had a lot of decor, but I had insisted on bringing some of my own. I worked so hard on pieces that didn't even get seen. One was the photo booth spot outside. There was a nice bench right outside of the garden area we got married in. I had brought a pretty chandelier to hang over it, a sign with props, and a frame that had our wedding hashtag. I think only 3 people ended up using it.
Kept Everyone There For The Send-Off
We didn't make it clear that there would be a sparkler send off after the reception ended, so a few
guests left with only 30 minutes to go. I think they would have stuck around if they'd have known. I wish that we had asked the DJ to make an announcement about it.

THINGS THAT WE WOULD HAVE CHANGED

Our DJ
Good gracious. Like I said above, we had some issues with him the day of. If I could go back, I

would look into it more and meet with him in person before the event. All of the communication between him and Andy was over email. I remember seeing him on the wedding day and thinking, "Who is that? He wasn't invited." and then got whisked away before I could think about it further.
Given Better Gifts To Bridal Party
We were so concerned about saving money on all areas that we let this one slip. I don't remember what I got for the bridesmaids and I know we didn't get anything for the groomsmen. The gifts for our parents couldn't have come close to saying thank you for all their help and support during this season. I wish that I would have budgeted more for each of these people and really thanked them well. Gift giving has never been a strength of mine. I wish that I would have put more thought into it.
Put Someone In Charge Of The Guest Book
This is definitely something I wish I had done. We got a few people who signed it, but not many. I wish that we would have had it on a table when people walked into the garden. Or maybe passed it around the room after the ceremony as they waited to eat while we took pictures with the bridal party.
We Would Have Gotten A Limo
We went back and forth on if we should and decided against it just because of the cost. Looking back, it definitely wasn't a must, but how nice would that be? And the pictures? So fun!
Made Sure The Bustle Would Stay Secure
I had ordered my dress online and got it slightly altered to fit perfectly. It took several visits to get the top just right and by the time it was finished, I was just so ready to have my dress and move on. I should have paid more attention to the bustle. She did a great job with the top, but only put a tiny pin to keep the bustle up. It wasn't very long into the reception that I accidentally stepped on it and it fell out. For the rest of the night, I was fighting with it and trying to use safety pins to keep it up. This is for sure not how a bride dreams of spending her wedding reception.

THINGS WE DIDN'T NEED

Stress Over Seating Chart
I put SO much time and stress into who would sit where and who knows who and how do we make sure the guests from out of town feel welcome? Ultimately, it didn't even matter because most people just sat where they wanted. I wouldn't have assigned seats at all if I did it over again.
Party Favors
Our favors were actually root beer floats! They were fun and some of the guests enjoyed them, but
they were a lot of work to put together and not worth the time and money. If I did favors at all, it would have been something smaller and less extravagant I think.
Emotional Last Minute Guest List Adds
I don't even want to talk about this one--there was so much drama because of last minute guest list adds. There were a few family members who didn't even come and then an acquaintance that had no business being at our wedding. When you've got your guest list, stick with it. As you get closer to the wedding, you'll be tempted to add people, but don't do it. Just don't.

THAT'S IT!

Y'all, we learned a LOT about planning a wedding. And though we love attending other's weddings, we always look at each other and sigh great sighs of relief that the engagement season is over for us.
Want to know more? Let me know! I'd be more than happy to share some of the most helpful resources to us.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I hope you enjoyed today's topic!
If you want to see more by me, check out my full list of blog posts.

Comment below or shoot me an email at AttitudeOfAdventure@gmail.com
Follow me on InstagramPinterest, & Facebook @AttitudeOfAdventure

I'd Love To Hear From You!

~M

25 Things We Learned From Planning Our Wedding

Friday, February 1, 2019

HEY AGAIN!

Or if not again, welcome to The Attitude Of Adventure Blog!
I'm Morgan Deane and my mission with this blog is to give great, applicable advice and funny stories, so that you get a laughleave with something helpful, and keep coming back!
I'm a Christ follower, I'm married to the LOVE of my life, we're parents to Winston BARKtholomew Deane the Goldendoodle, and I love drinking homemade smoothies every morning!
{Want to know More About Me? Check it out!}

And now, for the reason you came here today!
I love being a wife! Married life is the freakin best! But getting from dating to married was not the most fun. The engagement season quickly went from ecstatic to dramatic. Andy and I both look back and are so glad it's over. But why is it so stressful? As I started thinking about it, I realized there are some things I would tell myself if I could go back in time.

THINGS WE DID RIGHT

An Expensive Photographer
This is close to the top because this was so important to me! I love seeing the pictures from our wedding and it was worth every penny to have Britt there! She has a real art for catching beautiful candid moments and making us feel gorgeous. Don't skimp on the photography because these really are the things that you'll be able to reminisce on. You won't remember what you ate or who all was there, but the photos can bring it all back.
Proposal Photos
Andy surprised me with his proposal
and he had a photographer, unbeknownst to me, follow us around the Atlanta Botanical Gardens. He captured every moment and those are some of the coolest pictures to look back at! Though we had had a photographer at the sight of the proposal, we didn't end up using him for the wedding. Most photographers throw in an engagement shoot with the purchase of the wedding. I'm really glad that Andy found one who would just shoot that night and didn't choose a photographer for the wedding without me.
Engagement Photos
Our engagement shoot was included in the wedding package, but if it wasn't, I still would have gotten them. They turned out gorgeous! I love that we have the proposal photos, but in the middle of the surprise and gushing over this new ring on your hand, you haven't been thinking of all the poses you'd like to get. Having a separate shoot meant that we could get all the pictures I wanted.
A Short Engagement
This is simply preference. Looking back, Andy actually would have made our engagement longer. He proposed on December 17, 2016 and we were married 5 short months later on May 28, 2017. It was a quick turnaround and planning a wedding is a lot of work. But in my mind, it's going to be stressful either way, so why prolong it?
We Had A Short Guest List
We invited 50 people to our wedding. That's it. It was really small which is both of our styles. Neither
of us is particularly fond of being the center of attention and though we may have created some tension between family who wasn't invited, we don't regret not inviting most who weren't on the list. When I tell people this, they look at me like I'm crazy and say, "I just literally couldn't get it down to 50 people." I understand that a lot of people have more family than we do, but there are a lot of family members that we didn't invite. Everyone at our wedding was friends and family that we felt close to and see often.
We Waited To Have Sex Until After The Wedding
This was something that also made the short engagement nice because as you get closer to the idea of being married as well as becoming more physically and mentally intimate, it becomes harder and harder to abstain. If this boundary wasn't in place for both of us, we probably wouldn't have made it. Then there would have been guilt around the idea of sex. Our sex life probably wouldn't be as great as it is today if we hadn't waited. Read more about Why We Waited To Have Sex Until Marriage.
Pre-Marital Counseling
Neither of us had had sex before marriage and we grew up very similarly. We went to the same church, had VERY similar views on finances, and the only things we had ever disagreed on was whether our kids would be homeschooled, public schooled, or private schooled, as well as if we would do Santa. We went through the counseling because we both believe there's always room to grow and it made getting a marriage certificate cheaper. But gosh, it was the best! We learned so much about each other, how to argue well, how to seek to understand instead of assume the worst. We took away Feeling Words and some great tools to kick-start our marriage well. This is one of the best things we did and we still get together with our mentors every 6 months to catch up!
No Kids Were Invited
I went back and forth on this because my siblings were invited as well as Andy's younger cousins. We also had some of my great friends' kids as the flower girl and ring bearer. But other than that, there weren't any kids invited. We still had someone show up with a baby, but he sat on her lap during dinner and wasn't fussy.
We Didn't Try To Buy A House At The Same Time
Oh my word y'all. I can't believe how many people try to plan a wedding and buy a house at the same time. It would have made for some very emotional decision making for us. Thankfully, while we were still dating, Andy had bought a house that I really liked. I had been a huge part of the painting and decorating of the house before we were even engaged. If we hadn't worked out, I'm sure that would have been hard on Andy. On the other hand, I know a lot of wives who moved into their husband's house and it never felt like home to them. If Andy didn't already have a house that I had been a part of decorating and putting together, I would have liked to rent for several month to a year, then buy a house. Wait for the stress of the wedding to be over, don't live with your parents, and choose without your emotional side taking over your logical side.
Dave Ramsey says, "Rent for a year because you need at least that much time to know how close to live to your in-laws."
I Created Decor That I Could Keep
While the venue had decor that we could use, I also wanted some personalized items. I was careful to choose decor that could be used in our house after the wedding. A Mr. & Mrs. sign for the table where we ate dinner now hangs on the wall in our home. A series of signs showing our life told by important dates in our relationships is on a different wall in our living room. There were several decor pieces that we didn't have to sell, donate, or throw away.
I Asked For Help
We did a lot of the work of the wedding ourselves. The venue we got had a lot included in the package like dinner, cake, DJ, flowers, and decor. The rest was up to us. Because it was such a small wedding, we did a lot of the work: creating a website, coordinating the photographer, sending out save-the-dates and invitations, etc. There was a lot, but we asked friends and family for help. I'm pretty particular so delegating is hard for me, but looking back, it was so worth it. We couldn't have done it without help! And when you need help, you can either hire someone or ask friends and family.
We Danced Down The Aisle
Walking from the front of the house to the top of the aisle, the traditional wedding march played. My dad and I got to the top of the aisle underneath an arch and paused. The song stopped and the middle of Kesha's song Tik-Tok started playing, "The party don't start til I walk in!" and we danced our way down the aisle. It was so fun and made people laugh. It also made me more relaxed as we got closer. I get so nervous being the center of attention and was stiff as we got closer. Dancing really helped to lighten the mood!
We Had A Day-Of Coordinator
Oh my word! If this had not been included in the venue package, I'm not sure we would have had one, but it is an absolute MUST! I said above that you should ask for help from family and friends, but on the day of the wedding, don't put someone who's supposed to be enjoying your wedding in charge of coordinating everything. Not only is this person valuable for keeping everyone on track, but when the wedding procession started, I was waiting for everyone and about had an anxiety attack just sitting there. The coordinator was so sweet and distracted me until my dad was there to walk me down the aisle.
I Ordered My Dress Online
Okay. I know you probably just fell out of your chair or dropped the phone you're reading this on, but I'm serious. My family lives in Missouri and I wanted them to be included in the dress shopping. Andy proposed on the December 17th and a very short few days later, I was leaving to visit my family for Christmas without him. I knew that they probably wouldn't be able to get to Georgia when I tried on dresses with my friends and I wanted to them to be there, so over that vacation, we went to tons of bridal shops and tried on tons of dresses. I knew I had found "the one" when I started comparing everything else I tried on to it. BUT it was $3,000. A lot of brides are willing to spend that kind of money on their wedding dress, but with a budget of 10K, I just couldn't. So, I did what anyone in this generation would do; I took to the web. At first I tried to find the exact dress, but with no luck, I looked for similar options. I happened upon a website, JJsHouse.com, and found a dress that was very similar for $300. It wasn't as nice of material and there wasn't as much lace, but it was amazing! Very well made and got here very quickly. I had to get it fitted by a tailor after the fact, but I would recommend them any day.
Created Website Trough TheKnot.com
Everything about The Knot is excellent. They have great to-do lists with timelines. They have great venue, caterer, photographer, and DJ suggestions. The website they let us create and use for free was great for guests to RSVP on, see details about the day of, and check back for pictures after the day. I highly recommend The Knot.
Inexpensive Groom/Groomsmen/Bridesmaids Outfits
If you know Andy or me, you know that we're not fancy
people. We don't love dressing up because it makes us feel stiff. We would much rather spend our time in baggy shirts and sweat pants or jeans. We also know that wedding attire is expensive and a lot of our party was in college at the time. The only expensive thing we asked them to wear was cowboy boots! The men were in jeans and button up shirts with a grey vest from Amazon. The ladies were in a deep blue dress I also found on Amazon. It made it easy for them to order to size they needed and we knew they'd all get the same thing. I was also able to use the Prime Wardrobe in the days before is was officially the Prime Wardrobe. I got dressed shipped to my house and would look them over, then send them back for free until I found one I liked.
Let Other People Stress For Me The Day Of
I worked really hard to plan everything out for the day of so that I didn't have to worry. I said earlier that I have a hard time delegating, but it was really freeing to hand off the to-do lists and worry about smiling for the photographer and we posed to put on our makeup and jewelry. When things went wrong, I didn't even want to know. Just handle it! My best friend and mom did a great job of stopping things before they got me. Only after the day was over and we were back from our honeymoon did I hear about some dramas that happened that day.
I Didn't Wear A Veil
Veils are very traditional and many women still wear them on their big day, but I opted not to. I tried a few on and felt like they looked weird on my head. I was also afraid that it might give me a headache, because I get those very frequently and the pull on my head probably would have done it. I have long, red hair and I absolutely loved the way it turned out without a veil. But girl, you do you! It's totally preference!
We Paid Cash For The Whole Thing
Y'all. I cannot tell you the amount of stress we did not have about paying cash for our entire wedding and honeymoon. My parents, like many parents in these days, were able to help, but only a little. They wrote me a check and said, "Spend it how you want. If you use all of it, great, if you have any leftover, keep it." Of course we spent all of it and it was super helpful, but the rest was on us. Total our wedding cost around $8,000 and our honeymoon was another $4,000.
Andy's Dad Was Our Officiant
At first, when we asked my future dad-in-law to be our officiant, I was worried he was saying yes because how could he say no. But after talking with Andy, he reassured me that it was probably the best thing for him. He loved getting to be a part of the day and he did an extremely wonderful job. I hadn't been to many weddings, so I didn't realize until after the fact how well he did marrying us. It was perfect!
First Look With My Dad
Whether you do it with you groom or you father, it's a very special time. I didn't feel strongly about Andy seeing my before the ceremony, but he insisted that as I walked down the aisle would be the first time he saw me in my dress. So after I got ready, I had the DJ play a song that my dad and I used to listen to when I was a kid, Butterfly Kisses. The photographers caught the moments my dad first saw me and to say the least, there were many happy tears.
We Had A Clean Up Plan
I created a list of everything that I brought and everything that needed to go back home. Then I assigned my Maid of Honor to head the clean up and asked everyone on the Bridal Party to stay after and help. I also assigned a car for everything to be loaded into. That way when Andy and I drove off, we didn't have to stress about if everything got done and we didn't have to clean up before leaving. It was really nice; we should have more days all about me. Haha!
I Wore My Dress Home
Apparently most brides change out of their dress before leaving the venue. It never occurred to me to change. We went straight from the venue to the house. It was very romantic and intimate for Andy to unzip me out of the wedding dress. I'm sorry if that's TMI, but it was a detail that I will remember forever and it just would not
have been that special if I hadn't been wearing jeans and a T-shirt. I understand why this may be a problem if you're staying in a hotel and leaving on a plane the next day. I'm really glad that we were able to stay at our home that night.
Our Wedding Weekend
We got married on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend and I just love that every year on our anniversary we'll have a long weekend to celebrate! A lot of people get married over holidays, but if it's too big a holiday, your anniversary might get lost in the mix. Now ours is a holiday all it's own! Labor day weekend in September is another great one to get married on, but it happens to be my birthday weekend too, so we stuck with May.
The Whole Honeymoon
I need to create a whole other post about planning a honeymoon because we did it right! Y'all, not only did we go to Italy, but we were gone for 10 days! We didn't over plan, we used a travel agent, we only went to 2 cities, and we paid for it with cash. After we agreed on the destination, I put Andy in charge of planning and coordinating and he blew it out of the water.

THAT'S ALL!

Well, all I can think of. I'm sure they're plenty more I'm forgetting, but I don't tend to dwell on that time. Just remember that it's about the marriage and not the one day of your wedding. If you reach for perfection, odds are you won't meet it and no matter how great the day is, you'll be disappointed. I can't tell you how many brides I've seen cry on their wedding day. It makes me sad because this is supposed to be one the happiest days of her life and she's crying.
Just remember that this day is yours. Not your mom's. Not your grandma's. It's for you and your future spouse. Make it your goal to plan so well in advance that you don't have to stress. When, not if, something goes wrong, let someone handle it and walk away. Now go enjoy this time because it'll be over before you know it!

Also, check out next week's post on 17 More Things We Learned From Planning Our Wedding.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I hope you enjoyed today's topic!
If you want to see more by me, check out my full list of blog posts.

Comment below or shoot me an email at AttitudeOfAdventure@gmail.com
Follow me on InstagramPinterest, & Facebook @AttitudeOfAdventure

I'd Love To Hear From You!

~M

The Best Quotes From Girl, Wash Your Face By Rachel Hollis

Friday, January 25, 2019

HEY AGAIN!

Or if not again, welcome to The Attitude Of Adventure Blog!
I'm Morgan Deane and my mission with this blog is to give great, applicable advice and funny stories, so that you get a laughleave with something helpful, and keep coming back!
I'm a Christ follower, I'm married to the LOVE of my life, we're parents to Winston BARKtholomew Deane the Goldendoodle, and I love drinking homemade smoothies every morning!
{Want to know More About Me? Check it out!}

And now, for the reason you came here today!
Okay, first of all, if you have not read Girl, Wash Your Face yet, you have to buy it! It's so, so good! I hope that you'll find the following quotes inspiration enough to read it yourself because this book literally changed my life! I'm not exaggerating. When I first started reading, it was all I could talk about. Andy was bewildered by my new found love for Rachel Hollis. I was ON FIRE and I couldn't stop. Since finishing, I have started listening to the audio of it again and am loving it even more. This book is so empowering and I want every woman to have the knowledge and motivation it holds.

I know this has spoken to a lot of women, but I think the reason it hit me so hard was right place, right time. None of what she says is new information, but it's all so applicable and my heart was ready to receive it. Rachel has this great way of saying something in a funny, loving way, but also kicking you in the butt at the same time. She's like a best friend, cheering you on, but holding you to a higher standard. You can do this, but you're going to have to work for it.

I hope you love her book as much as I do! So without further ado, here's my favorite quotes from Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis.

INTRODUCTION



  • You, and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become ad how happy you are.
  • Your life is up to you.
  • You need to identify--and systematically destroy--every lie you've told yourself your whole life.
  • The self-awareness that comes from truly digging into what you've come to believe about who you are is invaluable.
  • One great truth: You are in control of your own life.
  • You are more than you have become.
  • I am at peace with myself...I love who I am even when I do things I'm not proud of.
  • By admitting these lies, I have taken their power away.
  • You get one and only one chance to live, and life is passing you by. Stop beating yourself up, and dang it, stop letting others do it too. Stop accepting less than you deserve. Stop buying things you can't afford to impress people you don't even really like.

1. THE LIE: SOMETHING ELSE WILL MAKE ME HAPPY



  • Even though I fail over and over and over again, I don't let it deter me. I still wake up every day and try again to become a better version of myself.
  • The gift of life is that we get another chance tomorrow.
  • Life is not supposed to overwhelm you at all times. Life isn't meant to be merely survived--it's meant to be lived.
  • If you're unhappy, that's on you.
  • You must choose to be happy, grateful, and fulfilled. If you make that choice every single day, regardless of where you are or what's happening, you will be happy.
  • Comparison is the death of joy, and the only person you need to be better than is the one you were yesterday.
  • You become who you surround yourself with. You become what you consume.
  • You should spend more time doing things that feed your spirit.
  • You are in charge of your own life, sister, and there's not one thing in it that you're not allowing to be there.

2. THE LIE: I'LL START TOMORROW



  • I made a promise to myself and I don't break those, not ever.
  • I realized how hard I was fighting to keep my word on other people while quickly canceling on myself.
  • Honestly, if you really cared about that commitment, you'd do it when you said you would.
  • If you constantly make and break promises to yourself, you're not making promises at all. You're talking.
  • When you really want something, you will find a way. When you don't really want something, you'll find an excuse.
  • When we're at a loss, we reach for the lowest bar--and the lowest bar is typically our highest level of training.
  • Whatever standard you've set for yourself is where you'll end up...unless you fight through your instinct and change your pattern.
  • When my instinct is to give up or walk away or throw my computer against the wall when I'm on a deadline, I remember how many times I've been here before.
  • Our words have power, but our actions shape our lives.
  • If you choose today not to break another promise to yourself, you will force yourself to slow down. You cannot keep every commitment, promise, goal, and idea without intentionality.
  • It's much easier to add a habit than take one away.
  • We know these things are important and good, so we say yes, assuming the value of the commitment will motivate us into following through.

3. THE LIE: I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH



  • Everyone had to be trained and had to train me right back on how to manage them and be a boss.
  • My vertigo was a physical response to an emotional problem.
  • "What would happen to you if you stopped moving?"
  • The most fundamental thing a woman needs to do before she can take care of anyone else: take care of herself!
  • I acknowledged my own hard work and the achievements of my company, and I learned to rest in the knowledge that I will still be okay even if both of those things go away tomorrow.
  • I am loved and worthy and enough...as I am.
  • Were it not for my therapist, I would never have understood the connection between my childhood insecurities and my adult accomplishments.
  • Work just as hard for fun moments, vacation moments, and pee-your-pants-laughing moments as you do for all the other things.
  • You know what also rarely changes no matter how many women I talk to? Women actually putting themselves on their own priority list. You should be the very first of your priorities!
  • You cannot take care of others well if you're not first taking care of yourself.
  • One of the best ways to ensure that you stop trying to run from your problems is to face them head-on.

4. THE LIE: I'M BETTER THAN YOU



  • Recognizing that all words have power--even the ones whispered behind someone's back--is how you adjust your behavior.
  • You don't know their story.
  • Our judgement keeps us from connecting in deeper, richer ways because we're too stuck on the surface-level assumptions we've made.
  • What if I didn't need to prove myself in this situation?
  • "You've lived through tougher things than this. Don't give up now!"
  • The first step toward getting past the desire to judge and compete is admitting that nobody is immune.
  • Just because you believe it doesn't mean it's true for everyone.
  • Holding each other accountable comes from a place of love. Judgement come from a place of fear, disdain, or even hate.
  • When you're looking for a community of women, look for the ones who want to build each other up.
  • When I find myself judging someone in my head, I force myself to stop and think of compliments about that person. By doing this, I'm learning to look for the positive instead of reaching for the negatives.
  • The first step toward becoming the best version of yourself is being honest, truly honest, about what makes you tick.

5. THE LIE: LOVING HIM IS ENOUGH FOR ME



  • The issue wasn't that I didn't know who I was; the problem was that I didn't know who I had allowed myself to become.
  • Sometimes choosing to walk away, even if it means breaking your own heart, can be the greatest act of self-love you have access to.
  • Every day you're choosing who you are and what you believe about yourself, and you're setting the standards for the relationships in your life.
  • Every day is a chance to start over.
  • Be careful any time the only voice of advisement is your own. Your judgement is easily clouded when you're in love.
  • If I had been less naive and known more about self-respect, I think I would have seen our relationship for what it was.
  • Imagine someone else describing your relationship to you. Would they say your relationship is healthy?

6. THE LIE: NO IS THE FINAL ANSWER



  • No is only an answer if you accept it.
  • It's not about talent, skill, money, or connections. 
  • I am successful because I refused to take no for an answer.
  • That's the incredible part of your dreams: nobody gets to tell you how big they can be.
  • No doesn't mean that you stop; it simply means that you change course in order to make it to your destination.
  • What if life isn't happening to you?...What if all of it is happening for you?
  • Perception means we don't see things as they are; we see things as we are.
  • Name your goals... "This one, right here: this is mine!"
  • Fear is driving your choices and affecting your decisions, so let's take fear away.
  • When things are allowed to sit in the darkness, when we're afraid to speak them aloud, we give them power.
  • Nobody--not a voice of authority, not your mama, not the foremost expert in your arena--gets to tell you how big your dreams can be. They can talk all they want...but you get to decide if you're willing to listen.
  • Don't tell me you don't have it in you to want something more for your life.
  • The only thing worse than giving up is wishing that you hadn't.
  • Nothing that lasts is accomplished quickly.
  • You do not have permission to quit! I revoke that permission!
  • Nobody will ever care about your dream as much as you do. Ever.
  • You are worthy of wanting something more.

7. THE LIE: I'M BAD AT SEX



  • Agreeing to it did not mean I was embracing it.
  • Sex was supposed to be a fun experience that would always be more compelling than whatever else I could be doing.
  • I asked myself: How can I enjoy this more? What's holding me back? The answer? Me.
  • Hebrews 13:4: "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled" (WEB)
  • The things that happen in my bed with my husband cannot be weird or bad or wrong.
  • If it turns you on and doesn't hurt you, I say go for it!
  • I embraced my body.
  • I practiced positive self-talk...I did it so much that at some point, I started to believe it.
  • Orgasms are not icing on the cake. Orgasms are the cake!
  • If we're both committed to at the outset, it will happen.
  • We experimented until I learned myself and my body better.
  • We committed to having sex every day for a month.

8. THE LIE: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A MOM



  • Relationships are full of opportunities for grace.
  • I think because I was so worried about failing him, I ended up failing myself.
  • Because I was so concerned with how we should all look as a family, I didn't take the time to let myself feel connected.
  • A new mother's daily list of goals should boil down to 1. Take care of the baby. 2. Take care of yourself. Boom. The end.
  • The God who made the moon and the stars and the mountains and the oceans, the Creator who did all of those things, believed that you and your baby were meant to be a pair. That doesn't mean you're going to be a perfect fit. That doesn't mean you won't make mistakes. It does mean that you need not fear failure because you can't fail a job you were created to do.
  • There is so much power in solidarity. There is so much grace when you're talking with someone who also has baby puke on her shirt.
  • Pay attention to what is giving you anxiety or making you question yourself.
  • The best thing you can do for yourself, your sanity, and your baby is to leave the scene of the crime.
  • Do whatever you have to do to remind yourself that there is a life beyond your nest and that you are still part of it.
  • Sharing with them that you're struggling can give you the support you need to see all of the falsities that are popping up in your life.

9. THE LIE: I'M NOT A GOOD MOM



  • I am utterly over the idea of crushing back-to-school time--or any other part of school for that matter! I do some parts of it well.
  • We are doing pretty good--and pretty good is way better than trying to fake perfection any day of thee week.
  • Can we stop being so hard on ourselves and instead focus on the good work we are doing, the results of which are evident in the awesome little people we're raising?
  • We'll inevitably forget something.
  • Can we agree that imperfection is okay?
  • A single day, or even a handful of days, when you aren't mom of the century won't make or break your kids.
  • Give yourself the permission to do the best you can and the grace to be peaceful on the days when you miss the mark.
  • There is no one way to be a mother. There's also no one way to be a family.
  • You cannot properly take care of your children or teach them how to be whole and happy people if you are miserable and harsh with yourself.
  • I will do my best and I will trust that my best is exactly what God intended for these babies.
  • Our differences are what make this life unique.
  • If your kids are basically good most of the time, then cut yourself some slack.
  • When I'm stressing about parenting, it's usually because I feel like I'm lacking for quality time with my kids.

10. THE LIE: I SHOULD BE FURTHER ALONG BY NOW



  • I wear each passing year with pride, and I truly don't care what age I am one way or another.
  • They disliked growing older because of what wasn't happening.
  • It would be unheard of for a mother to react so harshly, to judge a baby on what she hasn't yet had the time or life experience to figure it out
  • Own negative self-talk can be more damaging than the emotional abuse heaped on us by a hateful parent. It's also far more insidious because there's nobody there to stop it, since we rarely even realize it's happening.
  • God has perfect timing.
  • Maybe you have to walk through this space you're in to be ready for that. Nothing is wasted. Every single moment is preparing you for the next.
  • Amid these fearful thoughts, I heard him ask me, Do you have faith in my plan or not?
  • This is what it boils down to: faith. The belief that your life will unfold as it was meant to, even when it unfolds into something painful and difficult to navigate.
  • Along with my list of goals, I have to give myself some grace.
  • Turns out, the most beautiful things in my life were never on my to-do list.
  • Focus on what you have done...Celebrate the small moments.
  • Nothing is more important than today.
  • By not being where you thought you should be, you will end up exactly where you're meant to go.
  • When you force yourself to admit to all the things you have accomplished, you'll realize that it's wrong to be so hard on yourself for all the things you haven't.
  • Big dreams shouldn't have expiration date.

11. THE LIE: OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS ARE SO MUCH CLEANER/BETTER ORGANIZED/MORE POLITE



  • I was struggling and rather than try and sugarcoat it or pretend it wasn't happening, I simply acknowledged my struggles in my work.
  • Embracing chaos might be the path to finding peace.
  • Small things can have monstrous effects.
  • Every single one of us is living in chaos, and we handle it in one of three ways: 1. We ignore it... 2. We battle it... 3. We drown it.
  • The problem with ignoring your chaos is that chaos by nature is incredibly stressful.
  • Ultimately, stress always catches up to you, and your body will react in negative ways.
  • Typically we battle chaos on a completely different field from the one we really need to address.
  • Life is crazy and stressful, and sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.
  • You are in control of yourself.
  • Start giving yourself some grace.
  • Tomorrow is another day and a chance to try again.
  • Look for the fruits of the Spirit.
  • Learn to ask for help and when someone offers help, accept it! Accept any and all help you can get and consider it a gift from God.
  • You will get through this season. This too shall pass. Don't set the rest of your life up on a downhill slope because of one hard season.
  • Someone else is praying to have the kind of chaos you're currently crying about.
  • If the caterpillar just chose to stay as a caterpillar,...she would never know what she could become.

12. THE LIE: I NEED TO MAKE MYSELF SMALLER



  • "Which parent did you crave love from more?...And who did you have to be for them?"
  • You can't blame the past for the things that went wrong if you aren't also willing to be thankful for the things that went right.
  • Being big while being small is an impossible task for anyone.
  • I cannot continue to live as half of myself simply because it's hard for others to handle all of me.
  • Since he didn't understand me, he often unintentionally muted parts of me that made him uncomfortable.
  • Do you really think God made you--uniquely, wonderful you--in hopes you would deny your true self because it might be off-putting to others? I can't believe that's true...God made me this way.
  • You are not a mistake--and feeling guilt about who you are...does a disservice to yourself and the Creator who made you.
  • There are hundreds of ways to lose yourself, but the easiest of them all is refusing to acknowledge who you truly are in the first place. You--the real you--is not an accident.
  • Don't let someone else's opinions of you determine your worth.
  • You were not made to be small.
  • Not everyone can understand or approve of you, including those closest to you.
  • I decided to get out of my own way and stop focusing so much on what anyone else thought.
  • I get to decide who I am.

13. THE LIE: I'M GOING TO MARRY MATT DAMON



  • My ability to imagine my dreams in intricate detail is one of the biggest reasons I've been able to achieve them. Seriously.
  • Surround yourself with inspiring people (both in real life and in your social media feeds).
  • In the absence of clear direction or a real vision, I just imagined one. I latched onto the idea of a future so I knew a direction to walk in.
  • My goals are real to me. There isn't a single doubt or question in my mind that I can achieve them. I have absolute certainty.
  • Having a clear vision gave me something to focus on.
  • Write. It. Down!
  • When it comes to goal setting, it's imperative that you write everything down.
  • Naming your goals is also important, because often we struggle to even admit them to ourselves.
  • I announce them like proclamations...as if it's only a matter of time before they happen.

14. THE LIE: I'M A TERRIBLE WRITER



  • "Someone else's opinion of you is none of your business."
  • SOMEONE ELSE'S OPINION OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
  • You create because you have a God-given ability to do so.
  • Their opinion--even if they're the most widely recognized expert on the subject--only has bearing on your work if you let it.
  • Deciding something is bad simply because other people don't like or understand it is not a theory I can co-sign.
  • I should embrace my creativity because it's a God-given ability.
  • The definition of worship is "the feeling of expression or reverence for a deity." Creating is the greatest expression of reverence I can think of because I recognize that the desire to make something is a gift some God.
  • If you're unconcerned about other people's interpretations, then everything you make is fantastic.
  • Create for yourself.
  • Do something daring this year and stop "reading" your versions of reviews.
  • I never want the creative choices I'm making to be based on money or business rather than whatever is on my heart and in my head.
  • I reach for silly, creative endeavors that serve no real purpose other than joy.

15. THE LIE: I WILL NEVER GET PAST THIS


  • I am still here because I refuse to let anything or anyone decide what I get to have.
  • "If you're going to blame your hard times for all the things that are wrong with your life, you better also blame them for the good stuff too!"
  • If you don't look for the good that came out of what you've lived through, it's all wasted.
  • I refuse to give into fear.
  • I knew I was capable of it because I knew I'd already lived through worse.
  • I don't believe everything happens for a specific reason, but I do believe it's possible to find purpose--even in the absence of explanation.

16. THE LIE: I CAN'T TELL THE TRUTH



  • I think if we had been informed, I wouldn't feel so hurt now.
  • I want you to see [me as] someone who kept showing up again and again, even when it was tearing her apart.
  • I want you to see someone who kept walking in faith because she understood that God's plan for her life was magnificent--even if it was never easy.
  • It won't necessarily be pleasant, but once you're in, it's done.
  • The longer you live in a state of honesty, the easier it becomes to simply exist there all the time.
  • Surround yourself with people who've also gone through the hardship of being honest about their feelings.
  • During the precess we felt so alone, and seeking out a community who understood our path would have helped so much.

17. THE LIE: I AM DEFINED BY MY WEIGHT



  • I am worthy and loved as I am.
  • I believe your Creator delights in the intricacies of you, and he is filled with joy when you live out your potential.
  • We function better mentally, emotionally, and physically when we take care of our bodies with nourishment, water, and exercise.
  • It's not your weight that defines you, but the care and consideration you put into your body absolutely does.
  • Please, please, stop making excuses for the whys. Please stop telling yourself that you deserve this life. Please stop justifying a continued crappy existence simply because that's the way it's always been.
  • Get out of the fog that you have been living in and see your life for what it is.
  • It is an offense to your soul to continue to treat yourself so badly.
  • If the calories you consume in a day are fewer than the calories you burn off in a day, you will lost weight. The end.
  • The version of you that's healthy and well cared for is worth every minute of work.
  • You've got a lifetime of negative talk in your head playing on repeat. You need to replace that voice with something positive. You need to replace that voice with the opposite truth--the thing you most need to believe.
  • If you wait until the last minute, you are not likely to achieve anything.

18. THE LIE: I NEED A DRINK



  • I sat atop my glass house and judged a behavior I couldn't possibly understand.
  • I refused to acknowledge my daily hangover for what it was.
  • I suddenly caught myself saying, "I need a glass of wine."...I caught the word need. Need implies something that is essential, necessary.
  • We were naive about all that was coming or how hard it would be, so we said yes.
  • My struggle is not unique, and therefore there's nothing wrong with me. If there's nothing wrong with me, I don't have a reason to medicate myself.
  • It was a short-term solution to a problem that was not going away. When the alcohol wore off, my problems were still there.
  • Drinking can be an attempt to escape, but you cannot escape the reality of your life forever.
  • The difficult seasons we walk through are how we learn to build up strength to manage any situation.
  • Running, having dinner with my girlfriends, praying, going to therapy, or allowing myself to cry are the best methods I know of for building up the strength necessary to carry on. These habits make me strong enough to handle the hard stuff, meaning I don't reach for the easy way out.

19. THE LIE: THERE'S ONLY ONE RIGHT WAY TO BE



  • At some point you grow up enough to understand that many people here on earth are different from you; and what you do with that knowledge defines much of your story.
  • I am a Christian, but I fully love and accept you and want to hang out with you and be friends.
  • The ability to seek out community with people who are different from me makes me a stronger, better version of myself.
  • Trying to be in community with people who don't look or vote or believe like you do, though sometimes uncomfortable, will help you stretch and grow into the best version of yourself.
  • "When you know better, you do better."
  • My uncertainty is proof that I was trying to grow.
  • Different isn't unique to [my kids]; different is their normal. There are no lines in our sandbox.
  • If we adjust our posture, it will change the way we speak...the way we listen. If we adjust our posture, we will see the person, not the category they fall into.
  • Doing life with people who don't look or think or vote like us is the whole point--it's our call to arms!
  • Love thy neighbor wasn't a suggestion; it was a command.
  • What would it mean to challenge your outlook every now and again?
  • If you don't admit to the problem, how will you ever change?

20. THE LIE: I NEED A HERO



  • We all have our gifts, and mine are far, far removed from the athletic field...But while I may not be an athlete, I am competitive.
  • This is a wish my heart made! And for once I didn't beg off or get lazy or stop trying...I did it!
  • I don't need to find anyone. Right now, in this moment, I'm my own hero.
  • Nobody forced me...That was all me.
  • Only you have the power to change your life.
  • My Creator is the strength by which I achieve anything. But God, your partner, your mama, and your best friends--none of them can make you into something (good or bad) without your help.
  • You have the ability to change your life. You've always had the power.
  • You need to set a goal for yourself and then work your butt off to get there.
  • You need to prove to yourself that you are capable of anything you set your mind to. You have the power.
  • Stop waiting for someone else to fix your life!
  • Girl, get ahold of your life...stop hiding, stop being afraid...stop saying you can't do it. Stop the negative self-talk.
  • Girl, wash your face!

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I hope you enjoyed today's topic!
If you want to see more by me, check out my full list of blog posts.

Comment below or shoot me an email at AttitudeOfAdventure@gmail.com
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I'd Love To Hear From You!

~M

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