HEY AGAIN!
Or if not again, welcome to The Attitude Of Adventure Blog!
I'm Morgan Deane and my mission with this blog is to give great, applicable advice and funny stories, so that you get a laugh, leave with something helpful, and keep coming back!
I'm a Christ follower, I'm married to the LOVE of my life, we're parents to Winston BARKtholomew Deane the Goldendoodle, and I love drinking homemade smoothies every morning!
{Want to know More About Me? Check it out!}
And now, for the reason you came here today!
I'm Morgan Deane and my mission with this blog is to give great, applicable advice and funny stories, so that you get a laugh, leave with something helpful, and keep coming back!
I'm a Christ follower, I'm married to the LOVE of my life, we're parents to Winston BARKtholomew Deane the Goldendoodle, and I love drinking homemade smoothies every morning!
{Want to know More About Me? Check it out!}
And now, for the reason you came here today!
Self-talk has been a big deal in my life. Like everyone else, I've talked myself out of things. I talked myself into things and then through things. When I succeeded, I celebrated, then berated myself for not being better. When I failed, I beat myself up. I had a lot of negativity rolling around in my head.
I got married to Andy and he started speaking positive truth into my life. I started listening to the books I was reading. I started "pinning" happy quotes on Pinterest. It took time, but I started loving myself more. I talked more positively to myself, about myself.
I got married to Andy and he started speaking positive truth into my life. I started listening to the books I was reading. I started "pinning" happy quotes on Pinterest. It took time, but I started loving myself more. I talked more positively to myself, about myself.
START LOVING YOURSELF
I have a hard time with anyone being displeased with me. I hate inconveniencing others. I will work my hardest to make everyone happier even if I sacrifice my own happiness. This year I decided that I have to love me first. I'm not going to stop cleaning the house or making dinner for Andy and I. But instead of making his favorite foods, I'm going to make some foods that I love. They may not be his favorites, but that's okay. I'm okay with being a little selfish. I have to start taking care of me and loving myself more.
Surround Yourself With Positive People
Friends are important! You become a combination of the 5 people you spend the most time with. I know your mom probably told you this a million zillion times growing up, but it's SO TRUE!! It can be annoying. Sometimes I find myself saying things with a certain tone or using my friends phrases that I don't love. But it can also be great because if you hang out with positive, uplifting, grateful people, you'll become more positive as well. We're prone to mimic things we see. It's just in us. Now you just know How To Choose Your Closest Friends.
What You Wear Matters
Your body subconsciously listens to how to act, think, and dress. You may not think that wearing jeans around the house makes a difference over sweatpants, but it totally does. When I get up on my off-days, I'm tempted to lounge around in my PJs all day, but when I do, I'm not productive. When I get up and put on my jeans, I am telling my body that we're getting to work. I'm going to clean the house, run by the store, return the audiobooks to the library, and finally donate all that junk in the garage. Likewise, when I get home from a long day and I am ready to sit down and watch some Netflix, I don't keep my jeans on. I switch into a baggy t-shirt and sweats. So make sure your outfit matches your agenda for the day!
Wear That Makeup Confidently
Maybe you wear makeup, maybe you don't, but it's made a huge difference in the way I see myself. Like clothing, when I'm wearing a full face of makeup, I carry myself more confidently. I feel happier and more fulfilled because I get stuff done. I've become comfortable enough to go out of the house and let people see me without makeup. If I just need a lazy day, but want to run by the grocery store, I probably won't put on makeup. I will use a full face if I'm getting stuff done -even if the only person see that day is the post office lady who dropped off another Amazon package. Whatever you decide to wear or not wear, do what makes you live your most confident life and don't let laziness hold you back.
Smile In The Mirror
This is something I started doing last year and it makes a huge difference in the way I start my day. Just smiling is said to make you feel happier, but seeing yourself smile makes an even bigger difference. Look at yourself and believe that you're beautiful. Don't look at the love handles or the freckle that's so weird in the corner of your eye or that bump on your chin that used to be acne or a wart or something and left a scar because you wouldn't leave it alone when you were in middle school. See the way your eyes light up when you smile. See your straight teeth because gosh darn it it was hard work to get them this way and you still wear your retainer. See the dimples that your husband thinks are cute. Love yourself and believe you are beautiful.
Learn To Love Your Body
Just like smiling in the mirror, you need to look at yourself and be happy with yourself. Look at the things you love. I'm all for exercise and fitness, but I won't feel like going to work out if I hate my body. Progress takes time. Don't focus on your chin that runs straight into your neck so you don't have jaw line goals. Don't name the stretch marks and non-thigh gap. Find the positives like those long, slender fingers and your strong arms. Thank God for your body and for making you the way you are.
Don't Accept Negative Talk. From. Anyone.
That includes you. Seriously. I used to talk so negatively to myself. You would not ever even think of letting someone else talk to you the way to speak to yourself. It's not okay. You are amazing and beautiful and capable and you're freaking doing your best. Don't let anyone talk down to you or make you feel unloved. You don't deserve that and if they can't see it, they don't need to be in your life. Stop accepting the negative talk.
Practice Kind Self-Talk
You're doing great! Seriously great. You have to admit it, you're awesome. Replace your negative words with positive, grateful ones. I talked about this a little bit above, but it's so true. You can't go through life happy and beating yourself up. Even joking about "I hate my life" or "my life sucks" or "I'm so fat" brings you down. Stop. It's not funny and the more you say it, the more you'll believe it. I revoke your permission to talk bad about yourself. Ever. Just stop. You're amazing and beautiful and capable and you're freaking doing your best. You needed to hear it again.
Improve Yourself
Choose something. We all have things we need to work on. Just pick one thing that you want to be better at. It could be flossing your teeth every single day or walking the neighborhood 3 times a week. Pick something and work on it until it's been achieved or it's a habit. When you are better than you were yesterday or last week or last month, you'll be able to love yourself easier. It's hard to feel great about yourself when you're stuck in a rut of "same old". You have to get out there and don't ever stop improving.
Stick With Your Goals
Okay. This one is hard. I get overwhelmed just thinking about trying to keep a goal. First of all, I don't set realistic goals. I start thinking of all the things I need to do better and change. I want to change them forever, but forever is a really long time. Once I realized that I was aiming too big, I switched my goals to smaller, attainable changes. I started trying to do something for just a week. Then I'll reward myself and try it for another week. Having an end in sight helps me to follow through. Check out some ideas for attainable goals here!
Celebrate The Little Wins
You won't win everything. You won't get it perfect, but if you get 90%, celebrate that. You could have done better, but you also could have done a lot worse. When you start celebrating your wins and stop beating yourself up, you start to love yourself more. You become a more positive person and it makes you want to try more things. I'm sure you've all been around someone who is negative and nothing ever seems good enough for them. No matter what, "you could have done better." It could be a friend in high school or a boss or a parent. You know how it feels to be around them. You avoid them at all costs and just try to stay off their radar. Here's the thing, you're doing that to yourself. It's a learned behavior that you have to stop.
Carry Yourself Confidently
There's a book that I want to read called High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard. In the book he talks about whenever he walks into a room, he reassesses, clears his mind, and starts fresh. Instead of carrying on, he's super intentional about being the best version of himself. He starts each day fresh, confident and set on a destination. I love myself more when I carry myself confidently. Sometimes it feels like it is fake it til you make it, but mostly it's just about intentionality and focus. Physically, I make myself stand up straighter. I listen to others and ask questions. I engage with them instead of just nodding along waiting to add my comments. I smile more when I carry myself confidently, because I feel more confident. When I feel confident, I feel fulfilled.
Drink A Lot Of Water
Why? Because it's healthy and your body needs water. You should be drinking half of your body weight in ounces of water. Every. Day. This practice keeps me from over eating, craving foods I don't need, and in general keeps me feeling better. Not just better physically, but also mentally. I think clearer, get less headaches, feel more energized and don't get worn out as quickly. When I'm trying to reach my water goal, I drink less coffee and sugary drinks. I use an app on my iPhone called My Water. It takes anything that I drink and automatically adjusts it into water ounces. For example, when you drink a cup of coffee, only 80% of that counts toward your goal. You have to drink 10 oz of coffee to get 8 oz of water. You don't have to use this app but whatever you do, DRINK MORE WATER!!
Give Back
There's so many ways you can give back. You can serve: at your local church, at a food drive, at a homeless shelter, at your animal shelter, or help an elderly neighbor. You can give: money to a non-profit, money to an addiction recovery center, a toy to Toys For Tots, or a donation to hurricane victims. Giving back helps you love yourself because you're not being self-centered. We live a lot of our lives working toward our own successes. If we're not intentional, we forget to look up and help the people around us who are less fortunate. It feels good to see change which you helped make happen.
Stop Comparing
Ugh. Comparison is seriously the worst. I suggest you read Sandra Stanley's Breathing Room I discussed in a post a few weeks ago. When you compare yourself to others, you can't see the positive in your life. You can't be grateful for what you have if you're always looking at what Tammy across the road has. Sit in your life and take a moment to think of all the wonderful things you have. You are so lucky. Don't compare the other way either. If you're looking at how much better off you are than John, you aren't being grateful, you have the nasty kind of pride. Comparison is a disease, but you can kill it with some intentionality.
Intake Positive Media
Whether it's social media or the music you listen to or the books you read or the shows you watch on Netflix, you need to be aware that what you intake is affecting you. You may need to unfollow some people. You may need to delete some music off your playlist and replace it with uplifting songs. I'm not saying that everything you listen to has to be Matt Redman. I listen to Beyonce and Demi Lovato because gosh they have some pump-me-up music. You may need to read Girl, Wash Your Face instead of those depressing fiction novels you're obsessed with. You may need to watch Jane The Virgin instead of 13 Reasons Why because Jane makes me laugh every time! Be aware of what you're taking in. What you intake changing the way you think. The way you think changes the way you feel. The way you feel changes the way you speak. The way you speak changes the way you're heard. The way you're heard changes the way you act. When you let the things you consume control your thoughts and indirectly your actions, you're not the best version of you.
Start A Grateful List
Every day, I write down 5 things I'm grateful for. I start in the morning when I wake up. I usually can only come up with 2 or 3 specific things that I haven't written down recently. Then, I fill in the rest at the end of the day. Throughout the day, I speak gratefully. Instead of saying, "I have to take out the trash," I say, "I'm so grateful that we have a trash company that picks up every Tuesday." I know it sounds cheesy. I was skeptical too when someone told me to try it, but it really helps set the mood. I'm not upset about doing menial tasks because I'm thankful that I even have the chance to.
Friends are important! You become a combination of the 5 people you spend the most time with. I know your mom probably told you this a million zillion times growing up, but it's SO TRUE!! It can be annoying. Sometimes I find myself saying things with a certain tone or using my friends phrases that I don't love. But it can also be great because if you hang out with positive, uplifting, grateful people, you'll become more positive as well. We're prone to mimic things we see. It's just in us. Now you just know How To Choose Your Closest Friends.What You Wear Matters
Your body subconsciously listens to how to act, think, and dress. You may not think that wearing jeans around the house makes a difference over sweatpants, but it totally does. When I get up on my off-days, I'm tempted to lounge around in my PJs all day, but when I do, I'm not productive. When I get up and put on my jeans, I am telling my body that we're getting to work. I'm going to clean the house, run by the store, return the audiobooks to the library, and finally donate all that junk in the garage. Likewise, when I get home from a long day and I am ready to sit down and watch some Netflix, I don't keep my jeans on. I switch into a baggy t-shirt and sweats. So make sure your outfit matches your agenda for the day!
Maybe you wear makeup, maybe you don't, but it's made a huge difference in the way I see myself. Like clothing, when I'm wearing a full face of makeup, I carry myself more confidently. I feel happier and more fulfilled because I get stuff done. I've become comfortable enough to go out of the house and let people see me without makeup. If I just need a lazy day, but want to run by the grocery store, I probably won't put on makeup. I will use a full face if I'm getting stuff done -even if the only person see that day is the post office lady who dropped off another Amazon package. Whatever you decide to wear or not wear, do what makes you live your most confident life and don't let laziness hold you back.Smile In The Mirror
This is something I started doing last year and it makes a huge difference in the way I start my day. Just smiling is said to make you feel happier, but seeing yourself smile makes an even bigger difference. Look at yourself and believe that you're beautiful. Don't look at the love handles or the freckle that's so weird in the corner of your eye or that bump on your chin that used to be acne or a wart or something and left a scar because you wouldn't leave it alone when you were in middle school. See the way your eyes light up when you smile. See your straight teeth because gosh darn it it was hard work to get them this way and you still wear your retainer. See the dimples that your husband thinks are cute. Love yourself and believe you are beautiful.Learn To Love Your Body
Just like smiling in the mirror, you need to look at yourself and be happy with yourself. Look at the things you love. I'm all for exercise and fitness, but I won't feel like going to work out if I hate my body. Progress takes time. Don't focus on your chin that runs straight into your neck so you don't have jaw line goals. Don't name the stretch marks and non-thigh gap. Find the positives like those long, slender fingers and your strong arms. Thank God for your body and for making you the way you are. 
That includes you. Seriously. I used to talk so negatively to myself. You would not ever even think of letting someone else talk to you the way to speak to yourself. It's not okay. You are amazing and beautiful and capable and you're freaking doing your best. Don't let anyone talk down to you or make you feel unloved. You don't deserve that and if they can't see it, they don't need to be in your life. Stop accepting the negative talk.Practice Kind Self-Talk
You're doing great! Seriously great. You have to admit it, you're awesome. Replace your negative words with positive, grateful ones. I talked about this a little bit above, but it's so true. You can't go through life happy and beating yourself up. Even joking about "I hate my life" or "my life sucks" or "I'm so fat" brings you down. Stop. It's not funny and the more you say it, the more you'll believe it. I revoke your permission to talk bad about yourself. Ever. Just stop. You're amazing and beautiful and capable and you're freaking doing your best. You needed to hear it again.
Choose something. We all have things we need to work on. Just pick one thing that you want to be better at. It could be flossing your teeth every single day or walking the neighborhood 3 times a week. Pick something and work on it until it's been achieved or it's a habit. When you are better than you were yesterday or last week or last month, you'll be able to love yourself easier. It's hard to feel great about yourself when you're stuck in a rut of "same old". You have to get out there and don't ever stop improving.Stick With Your Goals
Okay. This one is hard. I get overwhelmed just thinking about trying to keep a goal. First of all, I don't set realistic goals. I start thinking of all the things I need to do better and change. I want to change them forever, but forever is a really long time. Once I realized that I was aiming too big, I switched my goals to smaller, attainable changes. I started trying to do something for just a week. Then I'll reward myself and try it for another week. Having an end in sight helps me to follow through. Check out some ideas for attainable goals here!Celebrate The Little Wins
You won't win everything. You won't get it perfect, but if you get 90%, celebrate that. You could have done better, but you also could have done a lot worse. When you start celebrating your wins and stop beating yourself up, you start to love yourself more. You become a more positive person and it makes you want to try more things. I'm sure you've all been around someone who is negative and nothing ever seems good enough for them. No matter what, "you could have done better." It could be a friend in high school or a boss or a parent. You know how it feels to be around them. You avoid them at all costs and just try to stay off their radar. Here's the thing, you're doing that to yourself. It's a learned behavior that you have to stop.
Stop Holding Yourself To "Perfect" Standards
Seriously. Stop trying to be perfect. Unfortunately, perfectionism is the thing I go back to whenever I'm stressed. When my life seems out of control, I start to control what I can by endlessly cleaning the house. I'd scrub the counters until they start to wear down if Andy didn't stop me and make me use Feeling Words. I have to step out of the moment and realize that no matter what I did, it could always be "better." There was a time when I interviewed for a job as a receptionist at a construction company. I hadn't interviewed more than twice before that and I'm sure it wasn't super smooth. They ended up offering me the job on the spot and you know what I did? Instead of go home and celebrate, I berated myself for wearing tennis shoes instead of cuter footwear to the interview. What?!
There's a book that I want to read called High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard. In the book he talks about whenever he walks into a room, he reassesses, clears his mind, and starts fresh. Instead of carrying on, he's super intentional about being the best version of himself. He starts each day fresh, confident and set on a destination. I love myself more when I carry myself confidently. Sometimes it feels like it is fake it til you make it, but mostly it's just about intentionality and focus. Physically, I make myself stand up straighter. I listen to others and ask questions. I engage with them instead of just nodding along waiting to add my comments. I smile more when I carry myself confidently, because I feel more confident. When I feel confident, I feel fulfilled.Drink A Lot Of Water
Why? Because it's healthy and your body needs water. You should be drinking half of your body weight in ounces of water. Every. Day. This practice keeps me from over eating, craving foods I don't need, and in general keeps me feeling better. Not just better physically, but also mentally. I think clearer, get less headaches, feel more energized and don't get worn out as quickly. When I'm trying to reach my water goal, I drink less coffee and sugary drinks. I use an app on my iPhone called My Water. It takes anything that I drink and automatically adjusts it into water ounces. For example, when you drink a cup of coffee, only 80% of that counts toward your goal. You have to drink 10 oz of coffee to get 8 oz of water. You don't have to use this app but whatever you do, DRINK MORE WATER!!Give Back
There's so many ways you can give back. You can serve: at your local church, at a food drive, at a homeless shelter, at your animal shelter, or help an elderly neighbor. You can give: money to a non-profit, money to an addiction recovery center, a toy to Toys For Tots, or a donation to hurricane victims. Giving back helps you love yourself because you're not being self-centered. We live a lot of our lives working toward our own successes. If we're not intentional, we forget to look up and help the people around us who are less fortunate. It feels good to see change which you helped make happen.Stop Comparing
Ugh. Comparison is seriously the worst. I suggest you read Sandra Stanley's Breathing Room I discussed in a post a few weeks ago. When you compare yourself to others, you can't see the positive in your life. You can't be grateful for what you have if you're always looking at what Tammy across the road has. Sit in your life and take a moment to think of all the wonderful things you have. You are so lucky. Don't compare the other way either. If you're looking at how much better off you are than John, you aren't being grateful, you have the nasty kind of pride. Comparison is a disease, but you can kill it with some intentionality.Intake Positive Media
Whether it's social media or the music you listen to or the books you read or the shows you watch on Netflix, you need to be aware that what you intake is affecting you. You may need to unfollow some people. You may need to delete some music off your playlist and replace it with uplifting songs. I'm not saying that everything you listen to has to be Matt Redman. I listen to Beyonce and Demi Lovato because gosh they have some pump-me-up music. You may need to read Girl, Wash Your Face instead of those depressing fiction novels you're obsessed with. You may need to watch Jane The Virgin instead of 13 Reasons Why because Jane makes me laugh every time! Be aware of what you're taking in. What you intake changing the way you think. The way you think changes the way you feel. The way you feel changes the way you speak. The way you speak changes the way you're heard. The way you're heard changes the way you act. When you let the things you consume control your thoughts and indirectly your actions, you're not the best version of you.
BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOU
Girl, you are amazing and beautiful and capable and you're freaking doing your best. You can do hard things. You can love yourself. I want you to love yourself. I want you to understand how much better life is when you love your actions, your body, your friends, your life.
And so, go out and live your best life.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
I hope you enjoyed today's topic!
If you want to see more by me, check out my full list of blog posts.
Comment below or shoot me an email at AttitudeOfAdventure@gmail.com
Follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, & Facebook @AttitudeOfAdventure
If you want to see more by me, check out my full list of blog posts.
Comment below or shoot me an email at AttitudeOfAdventure@gmail.com
Follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, & Facebook @AttitudeOfAdventure
